Child-Obsessed At The Rugby
“HAVE YOU GOT A CHILD UNDER 8 YEARS OF AGE??”
This was the desperate phrase I repeated to crowds of rugby fans as they entered the stadium.
Everyone poured through the gates while I faced upstream like the panic-stricken woman in a movie who has lost her child. Or, in this case, wanted to barter…
Suited and Boots-ed
One particular agency insisted I always wore a pencil skirt, tight blazer and high-heels to my shift.
Wherever that shift was.
And one of the places you really don’t need to be dressed like a budget sexy secretary, is Boots.
Tasty Little Handbag
The louder you shouted “WIN YOURSELF A TASTY LITTLE HANDBAG”, the less they would bother you with the request to be more vocal please.
The phrase didn’t sit naturally with my persona.
So I had to adopt a weird cheeky-cockney-market-trader character. Which still didn’t sit naturally with my face or my voice. (My natural…
Cheese-Rolling In The Back Of A Van
With the lofty title of Team Leader I took this job far too seriously.
I was ‘supervising’ a group of very young people giving out cheese samples on the South Bank.
The central location made it a risky shift: people I’ve worked with might see me in a branded T-shirt and yellow hat, cheerily…
A Clipboard-Wielding Medusa
I’d arrive at the shopping centre before 9am to locate my stand, a roll out banner and a branded wheelie bin with the clipboards inside.
It’s where I could put away my handbag and dignity too.
Blow Your Nose – Aggressive Training
‘V’ was my trainer for the day. That’s the name she went by, I’m not trying to preserve her anonymity here. She had a strong Liverpool accent and a voice that carried. She also wore a puffa jacket and Ugg boots for the shift, despite the strict instructions that I was to turn up in…
A Fibrous Mistake
I neglected to check the railfare before this job. 7-10am giving out breakfast biscuits in Woking station for £30.00 seemed tolerable. It seemed significantly less tolerable when I’d hauled myself out of bed at 5.45am to then pay £14.00 to get there. After a quick calculation of tax deductions my wage was near non-existent. And…
How About A Nice Loose Curl
I’d exaggerated my ability to style hair.
But the pay was good because the shifts were 14 hours long, so I was determined to Have A Good Go…
Why Am I Doing This?
WHY AM I DOING THIS? Starting a blog in 2020 is the equivalent of hanging out on MSM Messenger. Nobody does it now. I know. But I wanted to wang some words out there and it turns out there is unlimited space on the internet. Raising a smile (or a least a cry-laugh emoji) makes…
Freeday Pass and Letterboxes
This job was not only tedious, but painfully cold. There was snow on the ground, it was -12C and the public did not want to engage with me, the abominable snowman with a confusing offer.
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