bad jobs – Average Brunette

Suited and Boots-ed

One particular agency insisted I always wore a pencil skirt, tight blazer and high-heels to my shift.

Wherever that shift was.

And one of the places you really don’t need to be dressed like a budget sexy secretary, is Boots.

Tasty Little Handbag

The louder you shouted “WIN YOURSELF A TASTY LITTLE HANDBAG”, the less they would bother you with the request to be more vocal please.

The phrase didn’t sit naturally with my persona.

So I had to adopt a weird cheeky-cockney-market-trader character. Which still didn’t sit naturally with my face or my voice. (My natural aura is Colin Firth).

Cheese-Rolling In The Back Of A Van

With the lofty title of Team Leader I took this job far too seriously.

I was ‘supervising’ a group of very young people giving out cheese samples on the South Bank.

The central location made it a risky shift: people I’ve worked with might see me in a branded T-shirt and yellow hat, cheerily wielding a plate of cheese. (Doesn’t shout, “Made It”.)

It was a very real fear.

And so was the prospect of under-delivering as Team Leader…